Welcome to my new blog

It's time to shed the self-doubt, the debilitating perfectionism, the crises of confidence, and finally put some of my music out in the universe.  Inspired by my creative and supportive family--especially my Aunt Lynn and her kids, my cousins, Casey, Jessica, and Rita--I'm setting up this blog to post my musical creations.  I plan to set up a series of personal challenges in order to make this happen.  The blog will document the journey.  Cool, right?

Challenge no. 1 for 2013: to record videos of me performing all of my favorite songs I have written and post them.  One of the things that has stifled me in the past is that I always wanted what I record to be perfectly awesome--everything in perfect balance, every note perfectly in tune, and so forth.  And its no wonder I never got very far because, guess what--I am not perfect, I don't have great equipment, I don't have all the audio production skills I'd like to have.  I realized that I had been using this seeming "perfectionism" as an excuse to not share my music with others, and in turn I allowed it to stifle my creativity.  With all of this in mind, my rules are simple: for these videos, I'm using my iphone and doing videos in one take with no audio editing.  So if a note isn't quite right here or there, so be it.  If the audio quality could be better, so be it.  I am going to try to record one song a day until I run out.  And then I will write some new songs!

All of that said, I have not had difficulty sharing chamber and choral music I have written with audiences.  In most cases, I haven't performed my own music--others have, and up until recently I have been pleased with that arrangement.  I am a music professor so composition of a more academic nature (so-called "art" music, BTW I hate that term because it implies that other kinds of music isn't "art" . . . so whatever) has felt like a more acceptable thing for me to share with others, and it is something I have done since I went to college, now some 18 years ago, which makes me feel ancient.  I do plan to share some of this chamber and vocal music I have written on this blog at some point, but the main focus for now is going to be to share a different side of my music--personal songs I have written just for me to sing and play with no audience other than myself and maybe a close friend or two over the years.

To kick things off, here is my first video:

Music and lyrics written by Victoria Malawey © 2013 All Rights Reserved

Title: "Hold On"
Written December 2012
Dedicated to my friend Tiffany Jeng

Lyrics:
Now is all we have
That's all, that's all, that's all that we can count on
Now is all that we have
Is now, hold on

So small we are
And how do we find where we belong?
I wonder why we are so small
So small we are

Hold on, don't get so down
It's a gift to feel and to have loved
Hold on, hold on, you're not done
Hold on, hold on

Hold on, you're not done
Don't try to be something you're not
Hold on, you're not done
There's more songs to sing
Hold on, hold on

Now is all we have
That's all, that's all, that's all that we can count on
Now is all that we have
Hold on, hold on